Before reading
My friend Lisa is incredibly insistent on my reading this book. So insistent that she sent it to me as a gift. Let's see how it goes.
After reading
Thank you sweet baby Jesus, I am done.
Look away, Lisa. You won’t like this.
…
...
...
OMG. THIS BOOK IS SO DAMN BORING. I got so frustrated I started writing down my gripes as I read.
First gripe: why did Simon and Caroline’s friends pair up instantly? To be honest… Sophie, Mimi, Neil and Ryan ALL sound the same. Throughout the book, I could not, for the life of me, tell them apart. Stock secondary characters can do that.
Second gripe: why is there a truce so quickly? I mean, seriously? 15% in and we are buddies? Where is the tension? Where are the tricks and the pranks and the getting back at each other? Ugh, such wasted potential.
Third gripe: how much more book could there possibly be?
Fourth gripe: Am I supposed to be laughing? This is trying too hard to be funny and it’s just coming out as forced and annoying.
I stopped writing them down after a while.
Not only is it completely devoid of conflict or tension, it is in desperate need of an army of editors.
There is so much RAMBLING in this book. It is NEVER-ENDING. It just goes on and on and on for pages and chapters on end and I was just begging the book to PLEASE get to the FUCKING POINT. Do I really need to read two rehashes of a scene you already showed me?
I swear, you could’ve cut so many unnecessary conversations, text messages and introspection and this book would’ve turned easily in a novella.
What’s worse, this book reads like fan fiction and then I realize oh wait… it IS fan fiction. *headdesk* This is why I avoid it like the plague.
Caroline starts out as a spunky heroine who, after the 50% mark, becomes an escapee of a mental institution. Which is such a shame cause I wanted to like her. She fooled me into thinking she had a healthy self-esteem. She throws hissy fits, snaps at her friends and boss, and is an all around drag [spoiler]because Simon wouldn’t kiss her while she was shit-faced drunk. WHAT AN ASSHOLE FOR NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE.[/spoiler] The only thing I ended up liking about her is that she bakes.
Her chemistry with Simon, in my opinion, is MIA (like O) after their hate-kiss at the beginning of the book. It shows up near the end, too late for me to give a damn.
Simon was a sweetie, but I didn’t fall in love with him. Got a little crush maybe but that’s it. He had a serious case of gemstone eyes that kept getting on my nerves.
Once I reached the 50% it went downhill and quickly. Reading this turned into a chore. I begged the heavens to put me out of my misery. So many ‘happy’ and completely implausible coincidences. The sex is needlessly delayed in favor of ‘banter’. And when the sex does show up, it’s unsatisfying. Why? [spoiler]Because Caroline did not get her O in Spain THAT’S WHY. After all the crap I read, after all that cheese I had to sift through, the first sex scene was the biggest disappointment in a mountain pile of disappointments. She had to fake it with Simon. COME ON NOW. Then they have sex all over her kitchen and all I kept thinking was how on earth could they get it on while making such a mess.[/spoiler] I also did not like that the author peppered (I am being kind here) so many situations with humor. It removed me from the moment too often.
Also, I hate/despise/abhor epilogues narrated by the pets. It’s ridiculous and NOT funny. And no, Pink Nightie Girl is NOT a cute pet name. It sucks. There. I said it.
*frump*
9
3
