Memnoch the Devil  - Anne Rice

Finishing this book was a chore. A sad realization considering how much I loved Anne Rice's previous books, but boy am I happy to be done with this one.

 

My reading experience can be summarized the following way: Yay! Lestat!, ok I'm bored, holy mother of vodka this is dull, should I drink? maybe if I had a drink this would be easier, oh well- heaven sounds interesting, yup still bored, ARE YOU KDDING ME?, boooooooooreeeeeeeeeeed, OMFG EW and IS IT OVER YET?

 

There is virtually no narration. Instead there are chapters upon chapters upon chapters of Memnoch (the Devil's real name, didn't you know) talking about creation and how God doesn't really care about humans, how he, Memnoch, wants to save all the human souls and take them to heaven and how he's winning his bet against God but God is really the ultimate winner either way. Yes, from chapter 6 until chapter 21 (I kept count), it was all one big monologue with some tedious, unnecessary interruptions by a whiny Lestat. My theory? This book is not really a novel but Ms. Rice's essay on cosmology. A really long, boring, rambling essay on cosmology with some characters thrown in.

 

Half the time I was rolling my eyes at the implausibility of what written in the pages before me, like Memnoch asking Lestat to be his lieutenant. Why? What made Lestat so special? Why on earth would Christ tell Lestat to suck his blood? Would a woman really let a man/vampire she barely knew get under her skirt, between her legs and suck the period right out of her? What there a point to all of this? Still don't know the answer to that one.

 

Lestat cries so much in this book that I felt obligated to create a drinking game. Take a shot every time Lestat bursts into tears! Had I actually gone through with it, I would've ended up in the ER with some severe alcohol poisoning. 

 

I refuse to believe Lestat transformed into this whiny child. I fondly remember him from my teenage years as this bad-ass vampire with a killer sense of style, a wicked sense of humor and an ability to be lovable in spite of all his obvious flaws. That Lestat is completely absent in this book so if you're looking for that, you definitely won't find it here.

 

Forget my bitching and moaning. This book is magical. It made time slow to a crawl for nearly five days. That's some serious sorcery right there.

 

Was there an unnecessary dump of description? Oh sweet Moses, YES. Is Ms. Rice's writing style still beautiful and haunting? Absolutely. Did my migraine finally dissipate? Almost.